Two weeks ago I moved out of my student house in Sunderland. I know it's only a twenty minute bus journey away but when you're penniless and don't look like being offered a job any time soon it may as well be the moon.
Anyway, it's a bit normal for us all to get emotional when leaving our comfort zones so I carried on with life and stuff and, to be honest, things weren't that different. I even managed to score a few nights out round Easington which inevitably ended up round town in Sunderland.
Sunday night was, in itself, a microism of this week. Amazingly fun but with the added bonus of my drunken self destructive streak emerging yet again to shatter both something I valued above most other things and also my freedom for the night.
The first thing I shan't go into here, it's not for your (imaginary) eyes or ears. The second thing though, as the wise amongst you will already have worked out, is that I was arrested.
I've been arrested before, for things ranging from criminal damage (didn't do it) to indecent exposure (totally did it) but this time it was the standard drunk and disorderly charge which was incurred when the police, after warning me to fuck off and get away from my own house, returned an hour later to find me trying to battering ram the door in using what I believe may have been part of a window-sill. It was one of those nights where you wake up the next morning and remember nothing. I put this down to the fact that I ended up going to town with two girls I don't know and to counteract the initial awkwardness we all drank about 20 Jagerbombs before hitting Little Cuba to take advantage of their £3 trebles.
Waking up in the police station was a bit of a shock, but apparently I was a polite prisoner and managed to escape a fine. Not having a clue what had happened the night before and my phone being conveniently out of battery I set about trying to repiece the night.
Using inspiration from the brilliant Hangover, and the not so brilliant but still worth a watch Hangover II, I used the Bradley Cooper method of remembering, I checked my pockets and the list of items the police listed taking off me.
The list read.
64p - This was no good.
One lighter - This too provided no clues, even under extensive questioning.
One keyring - This showed me that I had been to Innfusion, a bar I hate. I was with the two girls I'd gone to town with. Little to no answers.
17 Subway Points Cards - This pointed to an obvious end of night trip to Subway.
1 Subway receipt - for 3:21am.
That was it.
So, as you can imagine, aside from knowing what time I left town I was pretty much screwed. I had to struggle through town on Bank Holiday Monday with nothing open trying to find a pay-phone to ring my dad. After the payphone stole £3 from me I decided to use my bankcard. 20 minutes later I was on the way home with my dad (to henceforth be referred to as SuperKev).
Upon getting home I turned my phone on. I wish I hadn't. You know when you see photos of catastrophes or you see an action film where too much is going on and you think you've seen the worst bit only for the next bit to be worse?
Yeah my phone was like that. The photos, the few that were taken, showed a steady decline in behaviour and my inbox... well it was just a no-go zone.
I sat, hungover out of my mind looking at the destruction I had caused and just put my head in my hands. The inside of my brain looked like this..
Yeah...
So I sat and sulked for a bit before I received a text asking me if I was out round Sunderland that night. My instant reply was a simple 'fuck off' until I was told it was my friend Jordan's last night round Sunderland before she left for London. Jordan has lived with me for two (practically three if you count the sleepovers) years and she is one of the people I'm closest to. I obviously had to go.
This is Jordan btw.. I mean look at her, she clearly needs looking after.
I turned up at the egg with some cans for a pre-drinking session before we left and... to be honest, really didn't feel in the mood. This is me, an hour after drinking started, looking as ill as I felt.
Yeah we keep a clean kitchen
Anyway, the night went on and I grew into it, mainly due to £3 trebles and it only being £2.80 for four vodka and cokes. There was a hiccup in the night, incurred by that part of my brain that when drunk refuses to acknowledge the use of common sense, manners, decency or anything of the like, but at the time, the focus was on Jordan and having a good night for her. I could worry about everything else on Tuesday.
The last photo of the night before shows us all screaming drunkenly into the camera, my eyes looking in different ways. Remember the cheap prices I told you about? Yeah I still spent £70. Here's a photo from Tuesday to show you how me and Jordan felt the following morning.
Yeah....
Well, Jordan had had her last night out, and now we just had to wait till Friday for her to leave. I decided to stay the week in The Egg.
Tuesday night saw the emergence of Alice. Alice is Adam's bird, I think, and she came round to spend the day and night with us. She provided such much needed distraction from my woes as one of my favourite things is meeting new people, especially girls and/or girls my friends like, and winding them up mercilessly. This I did with much fun. After hearing she cried with fear watching Harry Potter I immediately put on The Grudge for her to watch. In the dark. I'm a top bloke.
Nothing much really happened on Wednesday, just the usual boredom of lying in The Egg living room, although this time it did have an element of excitement added to it in that I had to flee if the landladies arrived as, as far as they know, I have disappeared off the face of the Earth owing them money. Money I don't have. Because I spent it on beer, friends, McDonalds and cigarettes. The rest I wasted.
Thursday, though, was Jordan's last day. Collectively we spent it drinking. I, along with Jamie I think, also spent it trying not to cry. Four times I had to excuse myself to the bathroom before I cried, I was very sneaky. However, when Jordan was pressured into opening her farewell card signed by everybody before she actually left and started to cry... well that just set me off.
Thursday was a sad day. Jordan has messaged me every day since she got to London though, and she's having a bloody fun time down there and tomorrow is her first day of work so everybody keep your fingers crossed for her.
As for me, left up here. I have my own stuff to sort out. Not going to tell you lot what it is but you can know that it's important. So keep the fingers on your other hand crossed for me.
Anyway. That's enough of me rambling for today, I'm tired of typing. See you all next time I have anything (interesting?) to say.
